Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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