I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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