my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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