She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish you could order shots online.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
