Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize