He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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