I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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