just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
