Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
