soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
