Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I forget how to act sober
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