My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I will pee on everything he values.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
