dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
