it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Your penis caused this!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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