is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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