i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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