$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
