I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
