Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
be right there i have to get my cape
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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