Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
