We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
