I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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