So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
