Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
