okay pat passed out under dana's car
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
someone owes me an orgasm
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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