Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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