Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
