Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
