you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize