I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
