His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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