That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
