so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
