i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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