I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize