I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
