and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
