better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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