Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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