he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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