What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
