3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
