That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Last time i carry you out of a forest
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
