marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
