You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
