We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
