But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
