she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize