hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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