let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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