Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
