chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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