just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
