one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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