they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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