ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
