You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
