Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Can i not drive my cunt home
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
