Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
