The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This baby is an asshole
Rumble strips road head = magical
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
