i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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