just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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