I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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