My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize