Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
