I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
