I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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