Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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