Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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