she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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