Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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