Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
try to milk me bitch
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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