My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize