did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
