He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
