This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
